Oysters.  Chocolate.  Basil.  Aphrodisiac or hype?  The key is not the food itself, but what you believe about it.  There’s no scientific evidence that one food enhances the libido more than any other.  But think back on some of your fondest romantic memories.  Was there food involved?  You bet there was.

You can probably also remember a time when you ate the same food and the result was anything but romantic.  The difference boils down to your attitude, the environment, and the company.  Harry E. Wedeck, author of A Dictionary of Aphrodisiacs, said, "Many so-called aphrodisiac recipes are basically wholesome ingredients prepared in a tasty way. The receptivity to romance probably comes from the general sense of relaxation and well-being good food induces."

The best way to whet your appetite for romance while satisfying your hunger for food is to make your meal a sensual experience.  Involve your senses, all five of them. 

Taste is easy.  We like food because it tastes good.  That’s a nice start, but don’t stop there.  How often to you let a taste linger on your tongue?  When was the last time you closed your eyes to concentrate on the flavors in your mouth?  

Scent plays a powerful role in sexual attraction.   Even the memory of a scent, whether it’s a lover’s cologne or pumpkin pie, can set one’s heart aflutter. Yes, pumpkin pie.  Dr. Alan Hirsch, Neurological Director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, studied how different smells affect sexual arousal. He found that the aroma of pumpkin pie had a stimulating effect on genitalia for men and women.  Is pumpkin pie the newest aphrodisiac?

Make your romantic meals a visual feast.  It’s the little things, the attention to detail, that makes an event special.  This applies not only to what’s on the plate, but what the room looks like, too.  Use the best dishes, put parsley on the plates, and light candles. 

Think of a romantic dinner scene in a movie.  What’s the sound track?  It’s not the noisy, shout-to-be-heard atmosphere common in popular restaurants.  Whether it’s sexy saxophone music or the sounds of nature, think about the feelings your sound track will arouse.  Years from now when you hear the sounds of that evening, memories will flood back.

No sensual experience is complete without touch.  Eating with your fingers connects you to the cuisine.  To complete the connection, feed each other.  

If the music moves you, dance between courses.  Vigorous activity releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins in the brain and increases blood flow to the genitals.  Top off the evening by dancing cheek to cheek.

Thomas Wolfe said, "There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves."   Maybe half the population would agree with him.  The other half would be even more pleased to see a man making dinner for his sweetheart, and cleaning up afterward.

Angela and Tony met online.  First they got to know each other via emails and phone calls.  Then they met in person. Soon they knew each other’s favorite foods, personal background and leisure interests.  Tony invited Angela on a special date.  He planned to take her to Antonio’s, a great Italian restaurant where she could order her favorite dish, eggplant parmesan.  When he picked her up, he was very apologetic.  He said he forgot his wallet and he needed to stop by his apartment. She briefly wondered if she’d be paying for dinner.  When they got to his place, he asked her if she’d like a tour. 

As soon as Tony unlocked the door, Angela knew this was no ordinary visit.  The lights were on, but no one was home.  Soft music was playing.  A mouth-watering aroma emanated from the kitchen. Tony stepped aside and said, “Welcome to Antonio’s.”  In the dining room, she saw a beautifully set table.   Eager to showcase his culinary skills, Tony had prepared a fabulous meal, with sensuous results.

Tony did everything right.  He used basil, a reputed aphrodisiac in the eggplant parmesan. Music, candlelight and flowers completed the recipe for romance. 

Angela decided he was a keeper.

Bio:

Mary Zalmanek is a speaker, trainer and author of the award-winning The Art of the Spark: 12 Habits to Inspire Romantic Adventures (www.ArtOfTheSpark.com). In 1997 she founded Adventures of the Heart.  She offers coaching for romantic adventures, workshops, and spouses’ programs. She lives in Colorado, where she enjoys romantic adventures with her husband of thirty-one years.

Speaking Schedule

The Groundbreaking
2008 Lotus Workshop and Conference
October 17th -19th
The Marriott Southwest, Minneapolis, Minnesota
 
Eight experts in relationships, sexuality, and sacred sexuality will be converging in the beautiful Land of Lakes region of Minneapolis for three days of revealing the tips,practices, and secrets of intimate relating from ancient cultures and modern science. Speakers include Deborah Sundahl, Mary Zalmanek, Chip August, Francesca Gentille, Ina Mlekush, Harold Taitt, Ann Maxwell and Deborah Adele.
 
The journey begins with a beautiful ceremony, keynote speakers, overview of the weekend, and gentle mixers. Saturday is smorgasbord of 1 and 1/2 hour workshops, with an evening of dinner, mingling with the experts and exhibitors. Sunday is a day of intensive trainings and deepenings. 
 
For detailed information about this exciting conference, visit www.lotusworkshop.com.

Until Next Time

Wishing you a life of romantic adventure,

Mary Zalmanek